Far from Choice

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a super private person, but there are some things I'd rather keep to myself. If someone asks me something private about myself, I will share what I feel I need to share, but there's just some laundry I'll never hang out to dry in public. However, with the way our world is at this moment in 2012, some things just need to be said, no matter how dirty the laundry is. I'll also do my best to be as brief as I can, but given that I'm an opinionated Virgo woman, being brief isn't what I normally do. So, if you're able to hang in thru this, I'll applaud you (seriously, I'll clap)!

Given this political climate we live in (please don't stop reading. I won't get super "political" on you, I promise), some issues have come up in the news I have this urge to discuss. One issue in particular has given me the "inspiration" to blog what you're about to read.

It's that white elephant in the room that I have no problem addressing… we all know it’s there, but if we say something about it, there's a fear of either being a bitch or potentially offending someone. I feel if you hear it from someone you love/respect/care for, it may give you a different perspective on what "being gay" actually means, at least to me.

Can I just start with the obvious question... WHO FREAKIN' CARES?? If you can explain to me in a non-biblical/non-political way of how MY loving women affects YOUR life/relationship(s), can you answer the question of why everyone seems to care? I'm not a bad person. I'm not a bully. The worst thing I do is laugh at someone who faceplants in front of me (c'mon, you would too!). I think it's the people who have an obvious ignorance towards something they don't know, don't understand and/or don't WANT to understand that have this strong desire to save the "sanctity of marriage". Let me tell you something... Your girl Kim Kardashian & your boy Chad Johnson aka Ochocinco DESTROYED that for you, so I would suggest letting THAT notion go...quickly!

I never fully understood how anyone's relationship could affect anyone else who is not involved with it. I've tried to understand where this desire stems from and the only conclusion I could come up with was this: People don't know how to mind their business or are just flat out BORED with life. Let's be honest, when we're bored is when we “stir the pot” so to speak. When it comes to relationships, it's between TWO people, whether it be Man/Woman, Man/Man or Woman/Woman, Period.

I’m not here to tell grown folk how to be/act/everything in between. Believe what you want to believe, but despite what society might tell you, this is NOT a choice. I didn't CHOOSE to be this way; it chose me. What type of person would I be to deny who I am? But let me also remind you that being gay doesn't Define who I am any more than my love for dancing defines me as a dancer or my obsession with surfing defines me as a surfer. Yes, I am a dancer. Yes, I am a surfer. Yes, I happen to like women over men, but you know what? I am a GOOD person. I have GOOD values. I have a GOOD relationship with God, who by the way, loves me for EXACTLY who I am. I care about a person's integrity and whether or not they make good choices for their personal progression. I do NOT judge them or love them any less because of who they love.

As I get ready to jump off of my soapbox, let me leave you with some food for thought... As long as I'm treated the way I deserve to be treated, does it really matter who loves me? As long as I'm happy, can you just be happy for me? Whether you've known my whole life, half of my life, or even a week of my life, So What If I'm Gay... Do You Love Me Any Less? Please take the time to think of these questions the next time you come across someone who you feel happens to be "different". I'm not asking you to accept it, but I hope, at some point, you can respect it.

Thank you for hanging in there with me thru this and reading my side of this. Please understand this is JUST an opinion from my point of view on this, as it does come from some life experience. At the end of the day, I'm still the same Katrina you've known or are getting to know, but if you do have any questions, feel free to contact me. I don't get offended easily and will answer any question as truthfully as I can.

Thanks again!


About the Author: Katrina is about as Boston as they come; accent & everything! She enjoys kickboxing, surfing, dancing (hip-hop) and traveling as much as she can. Katrina also enjoys photography, playing the alto (saxophone) and anything that allows for her to be creative. She recently started a podcast with her best friend where she talks about being the "gay one" and navigating this life as a brown, queer woman. When her head isn't in a book or listening to a podcast, you can probably hear her laughing. It's the best defense against her anxiety!

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